Cancer Caring

Medicare (U.S. Social Security Administration; www.ssa.gov) is a federally run health insurance pro-gram for people who are 65 years of age or older, or who are on Social Security Disability (SSD; see Question 83) for...

Mark’s comment: First of all, you’ll need to take a serious look at your finances. If you’re self-employed as I was when my mother was sick, find a lawyer and discuss options, such as forming...

The doctors want my husband to get radiation therapy for the next six weeks, five days a week. I don’t drive, and I’m afraid my husband won’t feel well enough after his treatments to drive...

How does my father get into one? Skilled nursing facilities (or SNFs) are often confused with nursing homes, both by patients and their families. SNFs provide a higher level of shorter-term care that aims at...

Even though we’ve hired an aide to help her at home during part of the day, I’m really concerned about her safety when she’s alone. What should we do? Nancy’s comment: If you’re caring for...

Durable medical equipment (sometimes referred to as “DME”), such as walkers, wheelchairs, bedside com-modes, or hospital beds, can be obtained for long-term or short-term use from equipment suppliers. Medical equipment can be delivered to patients’...

My husband just had colon surgery, and we were just told by the doctor that he no longer needs to stay in the hospital. Are we really going to be able to manage his care...

Home care is a broad term used to describe many types of medical and/or personal care services provided in a person’s home. Multiple terms used for different types of care are often confusing, so be...

Now that my wife has completed cancer treatment, how do we move forward with our lives? Advances in the early diagnosis and treatment of cancer are increasing the number of people who survive the disease....

My partner and I are in a committed relationship, but are not married. How will this affect us? Non-married partners may face added challenges when one person is diagnosed with cancer. These challenges can be...

Like any family, we have members who don’t get along, complicated by long-term, unresolved problems, divorces, etc. Is there any way to minimize these tensions, at least while we are dealing with this cancer? Mark’s...

Since my spouse’s diagnosis, it seems that our family has really changed. We have each risen to the challenge, but how much change is good for our family, and how can we keep things as...

I heard that my wife’s cancer may be genetically related. Do other family members have to be told? Should they be encouraged to be tested for cancer themselves? The first thing your wife needs to...

My husband is not sure whether he wants to tell anyone about his diagnosis. I believe that I have to let some family members and friends know what’s going on. Whom do I tell, what...

My friend is a single mother of two young children. Even though she is doing fine medically since her cancer diagnosis, she would like to make plans for the care of the children if something...

Kathleen McCue, the author of How to Help Children Through a Parent’s Serious Illness, describes some of the warning signs to look out for: major changes or disturbances in sleeping or eating; the appearance of...

Children of all ages often ask the “hard” questions that adults have learned not to blurt out. For example, sometimes the first question out of a younger child’s mouth after being told a parent has...

Our children haven’t said much since their father was diagnosed with cancer, but we’ve noticed that they’re trying almost too hard to help out at home, which is definitely a change. Is this normal? Children...

Mark’s comment: Children have the right to see their sick grandparent or parent, dying or not. Death is part of life, and though this might be the first time the child sees it, it won’t...

I have two children. I don’t want to tell them about my wife’s diagnosis and surgery because I don’t want to upset them. I can barely handle this myself, so how can they cope with...

Wouldn’t it be better not to tell her and avoid upsetting her? Mark’s comment: If the doctor is telling you things that he isn’t telling his patient, I feel that you should FIRE HIM. It...

If you and your partner are thinking about having children after his or her treatment for cancer, talk with the oncology physician as soon as possible. Sometimes radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and certain surgeries can cause...

As a person moves beyond the initial phase of diagnosis and making treatment decisions, questions regarding other aspects of the person’s life become increasingly important. Often, such concerns include intimacy, sexuality, and sexual side effects...

I feel that my husband and I are growing apart since his cancer diagnosis. Why is this happening? This is a hard question to answer without understanding much about a couple’s relationship before the cancer...

The simple answer is that you are both spouse and care-giver. Unexpected illness and/or disability make many couples reexamine their relationships and how they view their respective roles. While they may have previously expected to...