Pregnant women and their partners or couples wishing to conceive can experience several phases of anxiety. The first is that of contemplating pregnancy. Potential parents wonder if they are ready for the responsibilities ahead, also wondering if it might be easier to avoid that responsibility.
Others might feel calmed by the prospect, as they might feel the role of a parent will be easier than that of a spouse. Perhaps this notion stems from an underlying fear of separation, as the parent contemplating pregnancy knows that a child cannot abandon him or her in the same way that a spouse can.
A second phase of this anxiety comes with the actual pregnancy. It becomes important for the therapist and the anxious parents to understand whether the child is wanted and planned. If so, despite the happiness and joy the potential child may bring, a woman may struggle with her own fears of actually becoming a mother, as can a man about becoming a father. If the baby was not wanted, the couple may feel a different kind of anxiety—whether to continue the pregnancy. These decisions are never easy.
Even if a woman believes in her heart that it is the right thing to terminate the pregnancy, feelings about an abortion can surface in all kinds of ways over the years, perhaps in wondering what would have happened had she carried the child to term. These feelings become particularly heightened if delaying the onset of parenthood means dealing with infertility issues later in the union.
It seems that the human psychology does not respond as concretely to abortion as can the legislature, with the man and/or woman unconsciously feeling that they have murdered a child.
If the potential mother and father are not together in a steady relationship, many more anxieties rise to the surface, involving the fate of the child, decisions about the relationship’s course, questions of child support and custody, cultural and family expectations of the woman, and the like. Regardless of outcome, these decisions do not come without profound emotional anxieties.
Finally, as the continued pregnancy develops, multiple changes occur in the woman’s body, which may lead to overt anxiety. Nausea of morning sickness is uncomfortable, and women are also anxious to know how long it will last. The anxiety of having one’s body change so drastically in ways involving a loss of control (weight, urine output, bowel functions) can trigger questions of security. All the while, expectant parents always wonder if the baby will be healthy and how they will cope with their new parental responsibilities.