Between Appointments, My Wife And I Think Of Many Important Questions To Ask The Doctor, But When We Finally Get Into The Exam Room, I Get Intimidated And Distracted. How Can I Be More Relaxed And Better Express Myself To The Medical Team?
One of the many ways caregivers support patients is by attending appointments with them. The relationship you have with the medical team is a crucial aspect of patient care and can be most helpful when dealing with important treatment decisions. If you are feeling vulnerable, there are several things you can do to make yourself more comfortable: ? Before you go to a doctor’s appointment, the two of you should discuss your questions and concerns in advance.
By preparing a list of questions before you step into the office, you will be less likely to forget any important topics you wish to discuss. ? Record by date any physical observations about your loved one since your last visit, such as the possible side effects of treatment or medications, including pain, fatigue, nausea, sleeplessness, and/or any other body changes.
Also, encourage open discussion with your loved one’s doctor about her coping, particularly if she is feeling sad, depressed, or anxious. ? Encourage your loved one to be honest with the team about her symptoms and about how she is feeling.
We have known some patients to want to “hide” side effects of their treatment for many reasons. For example, they may think that the doctor will put them on a lower dose of treatment, which will make it less likely to cure the cancer, or they fear that their cancer is growing if they feel bad. Still other people are concerned about appearing “weak” to the doctor.
Document the doctor’s answers and instructions, or use a tape recorder so that you will remember important points after you leave the exam room. Be sure to ask your doctor’s permission first before using recording devices.
Ask for clarification if you do not understand what the doctor is saying. Oncology physicians are experts in treating cancer, but sometimes they communicate differently than other people do. If you do not understand, do not feel embarrassed to ask, ask, and ask again.
Nurses are specially trained to educate you about medical issues and can address many concerns. Asking the clinical nurse to clarify information in plain terms can be extremely helpful.
If necessary, ask someone with whom you and the patient are comfortable to come with you so that you have another person listening to what the doc-tor says. This person can serve as support and as your advocate, particularly if you have concerns about expressing yourself or feel overwhelmed by the information. Identify what you think and how you feel about the doctor. Is he or she intimidating, or likable Does the doctor use complex terms that you don’t understand Are you afraid of what he or she will find or say about the cancer?
Answers to such questions can point you in the right direction for overcoming any negative feelings you may have. Discuss concerns you have directly with the physician. In doing this, many problems can be solved, which can help you feel more comfortable.
If your feelings are interfering with your ability to get appropriate medical care for your loved one, you and your loved one may consider finding another physician more suited to the both of you.