After the initial diagnosis, people with cancer and their families have to make medical decisions and sometimes are uncertain about what the “right” decisions may be. As the patient and family are making important decisions, stress levels are higher. A huge amount of information about cancer must be absorbed. People differ in how much they want to know about the cancer, such as stage of disease, progression, and so on.
If you or the patient is the type of person who would rather not know the details, designate one or two family members to attend appointments with you to gather necessary information. These individuals can serve as “point persons” through whom the medical team can communicate openly. Always discuss external information sources directly with the doctor, who is a partner in the patient’s care. Topics of discussion with the doctor may include personal research from books or the Internet.
Do not rely solely on Internet chat rooms, personal testimonials, or the thousands of cancer resources that exist, because many of them are unreliable.Even on reliable Web sites, statistics and medical information can be confusing and shocking. Filter all information through your doctor to get the real story, clarify concerns, and get the answers to all questions regarding treatment.
The patient and family may be presented with several options regarding treatment, and the physician will leave the final decision up to the patient. Some patients like being able to make this decision because they feel that they are actively involved in their own care. Others, however, are confused and anxious about making such important medical decisions, and this may be true for their partners and caregivers as well. It is important that you and the patient get clarification on the pros and cons of different treatment options from the medical team, including the factors that affect the quality of life of the patient.
For example, does one chemotherapy regimen have more side effects than the other, even though both may be equally effective in treating the cancer? Clarifying the issues, having support, and sharing the burden of decision making between the patient and yourself can take pressure off both of you. However, remember that the patient should have the final say, as it is he or she who must live with whatever decisions are made. You may never know the one “right” decision to make, as is common with many decisions in life. Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves. Make an informed decision with the assistance of the medical team and then move forward.