Now that my wife has completed cancer treatment, how do we move forward with our lives?
Advances in the early diagnosis and treatment of cancer are increasing the number of people who survive the disease. This also means that there is an increasing number of patients and families who need input about putting their cancer behind them and moving forward again.
This may seem an easy adjustment to some people, but for others, it is not. They may ask themselves, “Isn’t this what I have dreamed about since the diagnosis? Shouldn’t we be grateful she survived the cancer?” However, the following issues may arise for both patients and family members during the post-treatment phase and complicate the process of cancer recovery:
Fear of cancer recurrence
Changed self-esteem and self-image
Legal and financial issues after diagnosis (e.g., initiating a new job search, writing “the right résumé,” etc.)
Concern about possible genetic predisposition of
cancer in family members
Concern about future medical issues, follow-up, and screening
Leading a healthy lifestyle, including exercising, stopping smoking, changing dietary habits
Unresolved life issues that were postponed because of diagnosis and treatment (such as marrying or separating, having children, or changing careers)
Long-term treatment side effects, such as scars, ostomy, infertility, and sexual issues
Often, techniques used for coping with cancer diagnosis and treatment help patients and their spouses develop a broader understanding of life that includes all of their experiences, including surviving cancer. However, sometimes after treatment, survivors and their families experience new problems in coping and need to investigate new avenues to help themselves. For some who coped well during the whole diagnosis and treatment phase, the realization of the cancer experience sometimes hits them long after the ordeal is over.
If you or your wife experiences some problems moving forward, you may want to find a support group, another survivor, or an oncology mental health professional to help you understand and manage these issues as you work toward restoring your quality of life. Further information is available at survivorship pro-grams at many cancer centers, such as the American Cancer Society and CancerCare, Inc. (See the Appendix for further information.)