After his wife was diagnosed with cancer, one husband said, “I feel like I am a passenger in a car on a dangerous, icy road. My wife is driving, and she is ultimately in control...
With the doctor’s appointments, the chemotherapy, and all the changes in our lives, both my husband and I seem to “blow up” at the smallest thing. How do we handle this? Sometimes fluctuations in mood...
In the beginning, a diagnosis can reasonably consume a lot of time and energy. After the initial crisis and treatment decisions are made, it is important to allow other aspects of your lives to regain...
A person with cancer may experience a number of changes that can cause negative feelings. Caregivers, too, can be confronted with numerous changes and may have to learn to live with unexpected limitations in their...
Medications are helpful to some people suffering from depression, anxiety, and high levels of distress. Depression and anxiety involve physiological changes in the brain and can be helped with medications such as anti-depressants and anti-anxiety...
Despite the fact that my son was diagnosed with cancer almost two months ago, I constantly think about his cancer and feel down much of the time. What should I do? Would counseling help? Despite...
I am not really interested in attending a group or talking with a bunch of people about my caregiver concerns. Where do I find other caregivers with whom I can talk one-on-one? Buddy programs exist...
What are support groups and how can they help me? If I decide to try out a group, how do I locate one right for me? People with cancer and their family members often find...
Even though I feel overwhelmed, I don’t think it’s right to think of my needs right now. Shouldn’t I be doing everything possible to help the patient? In times of crisis and great distress, we...
I have not seen my friends for weeks. Sometimes I feel that I just need to get away from the hospital, doctors, and the cancer for a while. How can I do this without feeling...
Am I getting “burned out”? What are the signs, and how do you prevent caregiver burnout? The chronic stresses of caregiving—being responsible and providing care for another person while adjusting your own life according to...
How Can I Manage This Practically? Focus on one day at a time, one moment at a time, and solving one problem at a time. Try to move beyond thinking about the past, “what-ifs,” and...
Lately I seem to think a lot about other bad things that have happened to me in my life. I don’t usually dwell on the past. Is something wrong with me now? Thinking about the...
After telling my wife she had cancer, one of the first things the doctor suggested was that she stop smoking. She’s tried in the past, but it hasn’t worked. How can I help her? It’s...
Often, people need help answering difficult questions that arise about their spirituality and beliefs—some-times they may even question long-held beliefs. Many people wonder why they or their family member was diagnosed with cancer, and they...
Other than, “ The doctors will take care of it.” How do I break through his denial? “Denial” is a loaded word. Many people use the word denial, typically when referring to it as a...
Relaxation techniques can reduce distress during certain treatments (such as chemotherapy or radiation therapy). Relaxation also has helped people reduce their perception of pain. One can start simply by using self-taught relaxation techniques, such as...
But won’t it use up energy my spouse should use to fight the cancer? Recent research is showing positive benefits of exercise for some people with cancer. Under the supervision of a doctor, moderate exercise...
The cancer diagnosis, upcoming surgery, and possible chemotherapy and radiation therapy all seem so overwhelming. Where do I begin? First, identify your partner’s past coping techniques. Start by looking back on how he or she...
Periodic mood swings and distress are normal for patients and family after a diagnosis of cancer and during treatments. However, these normal reactions may become severe enough for a person to experience symptoms of clinical...
Some people go through the entire diagnosis and treatment able to maintain a generally positive out-look, managing the medical care while balancing their daily lives. Anyone, however, may experience difficulty in coping. The following situations...
Is this normal, or is he going crazy on top of having cancer? Every individual’s reaction to cancer is just that— individual. People have both negative and positive reactions to adversity, including a diagnosis of...
Expressing both positive and negative thoughts and emotions is normal. This is as much a concern for you as it is for the person with cancer. You and your loved one can balance your emotions...
I have heard that “positive thinking” can help cure cancer. Does this mean I should discourage my wife from thinking negatively? Comment from Jean (a 46-year-old high school teacher, diagnosed with colon cancer): Sometimes I...
Many people believe that stress, depression, or personal characteristics lead to cancer development and affect its growth. There are books written on the subject, and the media seem to report on this issue frequently. Additionally,...