A caregiver is someone who helps another person to do things that ordinarily he would be able to do by himself. There are professional caregivers such as nurses and nursing attendants who provide this care as a formal service for pay. Then there are the millions of informal caregivers, including family members and friends, who provide this assistance without expecting to be paid a fee. Done out of love, friendship, or duty, the rewards for these informal caregivers are not monetary, even though the value of the care was an estimated $350 billion in 2006 and $375 billion in 2007, according to the AARP Public Policy Institute. Stated in such a way, it would seem that a “caregiver” provides practical assistance only with the activities of daily living. In reality, the role is much broader. A caregiver often has the responsibility of coordinating the person’s medical needs and appointments.
This coordination may include finding the right doctors to diagnose and treat the disease, helping the patient get to the best places to provide medical treatment, and, if needed, then accessing and utilizing rehabilitative therapies after treatment. And just as importantly, the caregiver monitors the person’s emotional wellbeing, providing direct support or helping him or her to get counseling as needed. Caregivers, therefore, fulfill a wide range of functions by identifying and helping to meet the needs of the person with cancer. If you see yourself as a caregiver, your roles can vary widely and may include being a partner, acting as a nurse, a housekeeper, a cook, a psychologist, a chauffeur, a secretary, or performing another role. Sometimes, you may not know which role to play at any given time.
The challenge of being a caregiver is taking on tasks that you never expected and may have had no preparation for. Being asked to do something that you do not feel competent to handle can be frightening and frustrating. Being asked to do ten new things for a loved one, and not knowing when or if you’ll ever be relieved of the responsibility for doing them, can be a source of significant stress and tension. However, preparing yourself—reading this book, investigating other resources, and discussing these duties with medical care professionals—can reduce anxiety associated with caregiver responsibilities. The first step is knowing that there is information, emotional support, and other services available to help you if you feel overwhelmed.