If you’ve been diagnosed with PD, you may feel many conflicting emotions. You may fear becoming physically, emotionally, and economically dependent on others or you may worry because the money that you’ve saved for retirement may have to go toward paying your medical expenses. You may think that you no longer control your future or that you’re alone— isolated. All of these concerns are worrisome but nor-mal. And there are things you can and should do to take control of PD.
Your first reaction may be denial. You may wonder whether the diagnosis is correct. Such a reaction gives you time to digest the news and formulate a response. “Nobody in my family has it,” you say. “I’m sure it’s stress. If I rearrange my schedule, exercise regularly, pay attention to what I eat, and get a good night of sleep, my symptoms will go away.” Although exercise, nutrition, stress management, and rest are important, they won’t cure PD. Or your first reaction may be relief that your problem isn’t a brain tumor or a stroke and that it’s not your imagination, as you’ve known that something was wrong.
Your second reaction may be fear and anxiety. Realizing that you have PD can make you fearful and anxious. You and your family have no idea what to expect— thus, you think the worst. You may fear losing your job, your friends, and most of all, your independence. These are honest reasons for being fearful or anxious; however, an excellent way to master fear is to learn as much as you can about PD. Talk with people who have PD and who have gone through similar experiences. They can tell you what worked—or what didn’t. Find resources, information, workshops, and support groups that can help you to understand PD. For example,
National Parkinson Foundation has more than 1,000 support groups throughout the United States and has an Internet page (www.parkinson.org) where you can ask questions about PD. The Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center also has a large outreach program where you can get help.
If fear and anxiety aren’t recognized, they’ll show up as hostility and resentment. You may wonder what you have done to deserve PD. Your anger may be directed at the people you love. You may snap at minor slights or disappointments. If this happens, stop, think, and do the following:
Recognize that having PD does not excuse being angry with others. Facing the reasons for behavior is the beginning of self-awareness, and self-awareness is the first step in coping with, adjusting to, and eventually controlling PD.
Understand that loved ones are also upset because you have PD and are trying to be supportive, although they don’t know how. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you need or to talk about it. Everyone will benefit. Learn healthy ways to channel anger. Talk honestly and frankly with your spouse, a friend, or a counselor. Start by connecting with the people around you. For example, if you hesitate or “freeze” while walking, people may be puzzled. Rather than being angry, hostile, or resentful when they stare, say this: “I have PD, and occasionally I get stuck and can’t move; it’ll pass in a few minutes.”
Your third reaction may be depression. Sadness, despair, and helplessness often follow anger and resentment, especially if unrecognized. These are symptoms of depression, which is common in PD. If you find yourself crying frequently, withdrawing from day-to-day activities, or sleeping too much or too little, you may be depressed. Seek help because treatments are available. A risk in accepting help for the physical aspects of your PD is that you’ll become dependent on others. To lessen this, retain as much responsibility for yourself as you can. By doing as much as you can independently, you’ll feel better about yourself.