Classically known as Alfred Adler’s term, “inferiority complex,” the fear of inadequacy characterizes much of human behavior and much of anxiety. Common manifestations of this fear include feeling short, childish, insufficient, not fully a man, not fully a woman, or defective in some basic way.
Fear of inadequacy does not equal inadequacy, as some of the most gifted, successful people remain driven by this underlying fear. These perceptions of the self as inadequate can stem from family histories where parents cause a child to feel that he or she is only as lovable as his or her performance. The child’s mind may then equate performance with love. Because it is impossible for anyone to perform perfectly, anything can potentially feel inadequate.
Other feelings of defectiveness can arise from actual defects, which we all have. We are all born with our flaws, some more externally visible than others— be they a birth defect, a childhood history of medical illness, a learning disability, a stammer, a history of bed-wetting, or a naturally quick temper. Criticism of these flaws can be very hurtful, as we all know that the criticisms that are the most true, or that we feel to be the most true, are the most difficult to hear. Avoiding these hurtful feelings and their accompanying anxiety is only natural.
External compensatory behaviors help some of us to try to fill the gap. Sometimes, they are disturbing. Hate crimes including, but not limited to, homophobic violence, racism, or sexual harassment stem from a profound sense of inadequacy on the part of the perpetrator. In picking a victim whom he perceives to be weaker, he attempts to dominate in order to feel superior. Social situations can elicit less severe types of compensation.
A man may attend a party and see someone he has had a crush on but who has rejected him before. He might continue to maintain his romantic interest in this person but still fear absolute rejection. Perhaps that fear feels like an uncontrollable anger that radiates from his gut and spirals out of control.
These feelings of rejection might overlap with the very feeling of powerlessness experienced in his child-hood, when an actual lack of protection or rejection by his family (people whom he so badly wanted to be close to) did occur. This pain might trigger the compensation of drug or alcohol use, in an attempt to look for feelings of power and attractiveness.