My father died 6 months ago. Since then my mother refuses to leave the house, stating that she is still in mourning. What should I do?
Anthony’s comment:
Everyone grieves at his or her own pace. Bereavement expands across all areas. This can even include the loss of a pet, which I recently experienced. I considered my pet my best friend after having her for 15 years in my life. After the loss I did not want to celebrate holidays or spend time with friends. I have been grieving for 6 months and still have difficulty with the loss.
Bereavement differs for all people and ultimately you have to grieve for the time that is right for yourself. I used to believe that the sooner you return to your normal activities, the better you are, but after I was diagnosed and treated with cancer, I realized you cannot be expected to maintain a specific schedule.
I had returned to my job too soon at that time, and it was a big mistake—the return to "normalcy" did not actually create the best conditions for my personal recovery and ultimately created worse circumstances to deal with.
Bereavement can be a complicated process for many people and differs between cultural groups as well as between individuals. Symptoms of grief look the same as symptoms of major depression. Death of a spouse is extremely stressful and often precipitates a major depressive episode. Defining the starting point of such an episode in the context of bereavement can be difficult. Generally speaking, after an undefined period a process toward moving on begins.
Funerals and memorial services are ritual-based events that help provide a sense of closure for many people to help them recover from their grief. If there is no evidence of efforts toward this recovery, with poor functioning in work and/or relationships persisting, then the presence of a clinical depression is more likely. If suicidal thoughts occur, perhaps associated with wishes to be with the spouse again, depression that requires treatment is likely present.
In such circumstances it is best to seek professional help. It may be difficult to convince the grieving person to go for an evaluation, but helping to set up the appointment, attending the appointment, and even insisting that consultation be sought can be useful. Again, if suicidal thinking is believed to be present, going to a local emergency room may be necessary if treatment interventions are refused.