How Can I Manage This Practically?
Focus on one day at a time, one moment at a time, and solving one problem at a time. Try to move beyond thinking about the past, “what-ifs,” and “why’s.” Instead, focus on the present and about how you and your partner are going to cope with the current problems, here and now. In other words, be in the moment.
If you are feeling happy and calm, allow yourself to sit and enjoy this feeling. Whenever you are feeling distressed, identify what you are experiencing physically and emotionally. This will help you begin to focus on identifying the problem and to help solve it. By focusing on the issue at hand, you may then be able to formulate a plan that can reduce feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
If you are already on “emotional overload,” first step back a moment and identify what you were thinking about before you felt overwhelmed. Were you worrying about all the doctor appointments or things you have to do but are not able to given time or other constraints? Second, identify your feelings. For example, do you feel regret or frustration at not being able to do what you want or believe you need to do? Next, problem solve by prioritizing your commitments according to their importance and according to other factors, such as your energy levels and other limits. Can someone else help you? By breaking down and surmounting obligations, you will take control, be less overwhelmed, and reduce negative feelings.
Tip: Take out a pen and paper, and make a list of priori-ties. Circle or mark some problems that you can solve now. Solving a few smaller problems first will help you feel that you are making some concrete steps toward accomplishing your goals.