A person with cancer may experience a number of changes that can cause negative feelings. Caregivers, too, can be confronted with numerous changes and may have to learn to live with unexpected limitations in their lives. Frustration builds in various ways. Some-times the problems are minor, but occur frequently, perhaps on a daily basis. Sometimes the problems are major and are the foundation for longer-term changes. These changes may then drive people to alter hopes and plans for the future.
A great deal of frustration from many family members we interview arises from the feeling that change has been imposed upon them without a choice. People naturally wish that none of this ever happened and that they and their loved ones could go back to the way things were before. Facing up to reality, however, doesn’t mean fatalistically resigning themselves to the way things are now.
Maybe there isn’t a magic bullet— at least not now—to solve the most pressing problems, whether it’s finding a cure for their loved one’s disease or finding the money to pay for all the prescriptions. But what people can control, or at least try to control, is how they respond—emotionally and practically—to life’s events. People are always choosing one path over another, and through these choices will retain or regain a sense of hope and purpose.